Advent 4 – December 23, 2007
Matthew 1:18-25 – first person narrative by Mary on Joseph’s journey to
understanding
(Mary comes in packing a bag as if she’s getting ready to go on an
overnight trip.)
Oh, here’s my favorite scarf – I knew
I’d left it somewhere around here. Now, where did I put my sandals? Oh,
here they are. I’m definitely going to need these. Oh, hello. What are
you all still doing here? I thought Joseph and I were the last ones in
town. It seems as if everyone has gone out to be registered and that’s
where we’re headed, too. We have to make the trek to Bethlehem. A three
day trip in my condition! Can you imagine?! Still, when the Emperor
says register, what choice do we have? We have to go. We’ve waited as
long as we can for Jesus to be born, but he’s just not cooperating. It
shouldn’t surprise me.
This whole journey of pregnancy has been
one amazing experience after another. I don’t have time to share all
the details now. Let’s just say, it has required a lot of faith. On my
part and on Joseph’s, too.
It was tough at first – especially for
Joseph. He almost dismissed me from our engagement, you know. I didn’t
blame him. I remember going to his house that night - about 6 months
ago. My belly was growing and I had kept this from him long enough. I
told him I was pregnant and I told him how it happened, but he didn’t
believe me. I told him the truth, but it didn’t fit with the way Joseph
knew the world worked. He thought I cheated on him. And boy, was he
angry.
Angry because he thought I went outside
of my promise to him. He was worried, too. Worried about what others
would think – what they would say. Finally, he was sad. Sad that all
his plans and dreams for a future with me were dashed. Nothing I said
helped. Finally, he asked me just to leave. He said we would talk again
in the morning, but knew that the right thing to do in this situation
was to dismiss me. He promised he would dismiss me quietly. Joseph is a
good man and he didn’t want to publicly disgrace me – to ruin my life.
Still, I left in tears that night, wondering how God was going to make
all of this right.
I prayed for God to send the angel back
to me that night – to tell me what was going to happen to us – to give
me a sign that everything was going to be OK. But, nothing. I barely
slept that night, worried about what the next day would bring. Ever
since I could remember, I had known that Joseph was going to be my
husband. The thought of that not happening made me sad. And it scared
me. Who would take care of me – of us?
I guess my faith wavered in those early
months, too. Still, God provided. God made a way. An angel of the Lord
came to Joseph in a dream that night and told him that my story was
true. The angel told him to not be afraid to take me as his wife.
Joseph found me the next morning. My eyes were almost swollen shut from
crying and his eyes were wide from taking in all that the angel had
told him. He told me that he believed me now and we were married later
that week. God truly does work in mysterious and miraculous ways!
These last 6 months have been mostly
good. Of course some people around town talked. But, it’s easy to drown
out their talk with the sound of our own dreams. And the sound of
saying this baby’s name over and over. Jesus. It has a pretty good ring
to it. Don’t you think? But, neither Joseph or I can take credit for
that. My angel, Gabriel, told me that this would be his name. Joseph’s
angel said the same thing. “Mary will bear a son, and you are to name
him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” He will save
his people from their sins.
Only God knows the road ahead for our
sweet boy. For now, we just can’t wait to hold him in our arms and do
our best to give him what he needs. Still we wonder about being his
parents. Just the other night, Joseph was reflecting about it. His
questions were a bit different than that of most parents. What does it
mean to be the guardian of God? How do we provide for and protect the
Savior of the world? His questions have no answers. All we can do is
step forward in faith. Each day, we remind ourselves that all we need
to do is take one thing at a time and trust that God will continue to
guide us each day as God has from the very beginning.
Well, I should go. I’m pretty much
packed and I’ve been here too long as it is. I’m sure Joseph is ready
and waiting patiently for me. I hope that donkey is feeling strong
today as I don’t know that I’ll hold up to the 9 hours of walking that
we have ahead of us. (Start leaving the church and find a blanket on
the way out.) I guess I’ll throw this in, too. You never know when you
might need some swaddling clothes!